Title : Control freaks (edited)
link : Control freaks (edited)
Control freaks (edited)
There was a time when I thought my single life was over. I became romantically involved with someone who seemed very attentive, sort of exciting, and fun to be with. I almost used the word 'kind' there, in the description of our relationship. I changed my mind, he was not kind. But I was swept away with the idea that this person was going to be the one to spend the rest of my life with.
I was not a spring chicken and by this time I thought I knew what relationships were all about. Equality and respect from both sides. I was mistaken. There was something not right about our relationship from the start, but I stuck with it, because I am an optimistic kind of person and thought things can only get better. It didn't, it got worse.
The person I chose to spend the rest of my life with turned out to be a control freak. Once I realised I gave him the benefit of the doubt and did everything I could to make it work. The faithful girlfriend who was always going to be there for him, always support him, and always love him excluding all others. I made that promise.
Two years into it was a turning point. He questioned my every move. I realised that they weren't just questions, but a full blow interrogation of what had I been doing on that day. He demanded to know who I had been talking to, and what had been said. We worked at the same company so we knew the same people. He even started spying on me, admitting that he had seen me talking to someone, then asking me if I was chatting him up.
I still went along with it because I thought he might have confidence issues and a low self esteem. I thought if I reassured him that he was the only one for me, the interrogation might stop and he might start to relax. But no, it didn't it only got worse as his demands became more frequent. He needed to know he could control me.
Something had to change, and I had to change it. I had to admit that this relationship was going nowhere. I told him I never wanted to see him again. It all comes back to the saying that you can't change how someone is behaving, but you can change how you deal with it.
He pestered me for a while with phone calls and wouldn't let go. I was on the verge of reporting him to the police. Eventually they fizzled out. Thank goodness I managed to untangle myself from that mess and get out.
A headline caught my attention this morning which brought this all back to me.
Get out of our lives you authoritarian little control freaks.
Grow up. Stop treating us like children who need to be sheltered. Stop telling us all things need to be banned for our own good. Get out of our lives you authoritarian little control freaks.
Thanks for popping in. Catch ya later. Toodle pip. ilona
EDIT
As this post is approaching 1000 views I will add this part 2 rather than starting another one. Thank you to those who have shared their personal stories of how they coped with being controlled within their relationships.
There are many ways of controlling behaviour that can happen at any time, and in any situation. As I see it, most people don't know they are being controlled, because it starts right from the time we are born. We go along with whatever is asked of us, because we are too young to question what we are being told. We are programmed by our parents, our teachers, our relatives, and our employers. That is how we learn what life is about.
The world evolves and most of us are swept along with it. Some will rebel early when instinct tells them that something is not right. Some will never rebel at all, and are happy to continue with the life that is mapped out for them, without question. Everyone is different. That's a well worn phrase that has been said many times before.
I broke away from my family at the age of 18, when I decided I could find my own way in life. Other family members still live close together for whatever reason, it is their choice.
So why am I wittering on about controlling behaviour? Because I see it happening everywhere. At this moment in time fear is the perfect tool to get people to behave, to comply, and to follow a path towards globalisation. You can see it all around. We are being steered, we are being bullied, we are being coerced into believing that someone else's plan for the planet is the right path to take.
It's no secret any more, it's all coming out into the open. If you want to know what is going on you have the means to find out at your finger tips. If you don't then that's fine. Carry on as you are.
Control freaks are everywhere. They are in the government because they want your vote, it gives them a nice home and a nice income. Those who are controlling are usually those with the most money. They prey on the weak and can buy anything they like. They call the shots and will not stop their campaign until the opposition is broken.
You and me have to be strong. Control is not only about a rotten husband, or wife, or partner. It goes far wider than that. It is about power. Some of the richest people on earth exercising their control over the masses. Go deep down the rabbit holes my friends, and be ready for what is coming up. Watch, listen, observe, digest, then make your own plans.
I remember this saying. . . . .
If you don't have a plan for the rest of your life, then someone else does.
Happy Sunday. ilona
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